In 1935, Boeing had a new bomber prototype, the Model 299, which later became the B-17. It was impressive, and it was also easy to mess up because it had more switches and steps than pilots were used to. During a demonstration flight, the aircraft lifted off, climbed, then stalled and crashed.

The investigators did not conclude that the pilots were bad. They concluded that the system was too complex to run from memory. The controls had been left locked. A small step was missed, and once the plane was airborne, it was too late to recover.

The response was neither better pilots nor more training. It was the checklist. I first came across this story in Atul Gawande’s The Checklist Manifesto. His core idea is simple: once work becomes complex enough, expertise alone stops being a reliable safety system. Not because people are careless, but because even experts consistently fail in two predictable ways:

  • They skip small, critical steps under pressure.
  • They fail to coordinate cleanly with other experts in the room.

A good checklist does not replace judgment. It protects judgment. It forces the basics to stay basic, and it creates a shared moment of alignment. That is why we have runbooks and playbooks. Even if you wrote them yourself, it is better to follow them than to try to remember everything by heart during a 3 a.m. incident.

Now, I think collaboration at work has a similar failure mode. We assume a lot. We might think silence means alignment, or that quick means a video call. Sometimes people expect a decision, while others expect more discussion. Sometimes people assume ownership; someone else assumes shared responsibility.

None of this is dramatic. There are no villains. It is just expectations living in people’s heads, drifting apart. Many times, I have to explicitly say: This is candid and heartfelt feedback, coming from care and respect. How do I make that unmistakably clear? The same way we do it for systems: we write things down. We define interfaces, expectations, and failure modes so they do not have to be inferred while things are already going wrong. Not because people are incapable, but because inference under load is unreliable.

I am approaching this the same way. What follows is not a manifesto or a list of demands. It is simply an attempt to document how I tend to work: how I communicate, how I make decisions, how I give feedback, and what helps collaboration stay smooth when pressure increases. Think of it as an operating manual, not to constrain behavior, but to reduce uncertainty.

If this removes even a small amount of friction, it has done its job.

How to Work with Me? Human Operating Manual.How to Work with Me? Human Operating Manual.

What This Is

This is a short document that explains how I tend to work. I wrote it for one reason: to reduce guessing. The kind of guessing that happens when expectations are implicit and everyone is tired, busy, or operating with partial context. It's been a decade now since I wrote how I worked as an engineer. Now, this is a bit different. It's like a human operating manual. 

You do not have to agree with everything here. You do not have to work the same way. This is not me trying to standardize people. This document describes my defaults, not expectations you must adopt. I also want to understand how you work. If you have your own defaults, write them down or please tell me. This only works as a two-way conversation.

I have also learned over the years that I need to adjust for different people, because everyone needs a slightly different colleague. It’s like a question in an engineering manager interview. What’s your leadership style? My leadership style is adaptive. Different people need different kinds of support.

Most of the time, you will not need this. If things are flowing, it should stay invisible. But when something feels off, when feedback lands the wrong way, when a decision surprises you, or when we keep looping on the same misunderstanding, this is a reference point.

That is the whole purpose.

Guessing has a cost. It shows up as extra meetings, defensive communication, second-guessing, and work that needs to be redone. None of it looks catastrophic on its own, but it compounds. Writing things down is not about control or process. It is about making collaboration cheaper over time.

How I Make Decisions

I like when the decision owner writes down the thoughts and when they back it up with data. Just enough to make the thinking explicit. A short decision note with the problem, the options, and the trade-offs is often enough to align us quickly.

What works best for me is something simple:

  • What decision are we trying to make?
  • What are the viable options?
  • What are the pros and cons?
  • What is your recommendation, and why?

This is not about formality. It is about clarity. A quick decision doc makes your thinking visible and gives us something concrete to react to. It also makes collaboration easier, because we are discussing the same thing, not different mental models. 

I am very happy to collaborate at this stage. Push back. Add context. Challenge assumptions. This is not about approval. It is about making sure we have thought it through.

I am also comfortable making decisions with incomplete information, as long as the uncertainty is named. What I want to avoid is implicit uncertainty. Things that were assumed but never written down tend to come back later as surprises.

Once a decision is made, I prefer to move on. Re-litigating decisions without new information creates noise and slows execution. I dislike decision limbo. Let’s decide quickly, document it, and move on. 

Writing things down has another benefit: organizational memory. Decisions do not disappear when people change teams, go on leave, or simply forget why something was done. Even a lightweight record helps future us avoid repeating the same conversations.

That is what I am optimizing for: clear decisions, shared understanding, and less rework over time. Decision-making is one interface. Communication is the other.

How I Communicate

I prefer communication that reduces back-and-forth.

We’re here to deliver, but I also value human context. Hence, I generally like learning about people, their life passions, and what they care about. That gives me a broader understanding of what is going on. I also want to trust the people I work with, and knowing each other personally helps with that.

When we have 1:1 time, I like mixing work topics with a bit of human context whatever you’re comfortable sharing. Let’s talk about things you like. Be it football, food, travel, life. Let me ask you similar questions too. Let’s get to know each other.

I want things written down. I sometimes need time to think and phrase things correctly, so give me that opportunity. Topics for our 1:1 noted, helps a lot.

If you want a quick and useful response from me, a few things help:

  • Be explicit about what you need: input, a decision, or a heads-up. I like when people start with FYI or other abbreviations.
  • Provide context, but only what matters.
  • If something is urgent, say why it is urgent, not just that it is. 
  • I usually reply in batches. For time-sensitive items, please include the deadline.

I like people who are proactive. Do not tell me things broke. Tell me when they are about to break.

Quick questions can mean very different things to different people. For me, quick usually means asynchronous and scoped.  I also have time to get back to you. If something needs discussion, that is fine, but it helps to be clear about that upfront.

I do not assume silence means agreement. Sometimes it means I am thinking. Sometimes it means it fell through the cracks. If something matters, follow up. I would much rather be pinged than have something drift.

For complex topics, I prefer writing first and talking second. A short note before a meeting almost always leads to a better conversation and fewer misunderstandings.

The goal is not to minimize communication. It is to make it cheaper, clearer, and easier to act on.

Feedback

When I give corrective feedback, it is because I think it will materially improve outcomes and help you grow. I try to be specific and actionable. If you disagree, tell me what I am missing. I do it because I care and I want you to do the best you can do. 

I will be direct. I will not beat around the bush. That is not me being rude. That is me trying to be useful. Direct doesn’t mean harsh; if my wording is sharp, please tell me and I’ll rephrase.

I’m working on giving more positive feedback. If you’re not hearing much from me, it usually means things are on track. But if you want explicit signals, tell me and I’ll adjust. If something is not working, I will tell you. I prefer clear signals over polite ambiguity.

What matters to me most is intent. Feedback I give is meant to help, not to score points or assert authority. If something comes across sharp, assume positive intent first and ask for clarification if needed. I would much rather explain than have things simmer quietly.

What I want as feedback is very similar.

Telling me I’m doing great does not help me much. It is nice to hear our wins, but it does not improve anything. What helps is specific, uncomfortable feedback. Tell me where I am unclear. Tell me where I am too harsh, too slow, or missing something obvious. Tell me what is not landing.

You do not need to soften it for me. You can be direct and specific; that’s what helps me act. Specific feedback helps me improve. Vague feedback is hard for me to act on. I know there are unknowns that are known to you.

One thing I care about is timing and context. Feedback works best when it is close to the event and delivered directly. If something bothers you, do not wait months. Bring it up while it still matters.

I am very open to feedback going both ways. If you feel blocked, confused, or demotivated by something I did, I want to know. That is not a threat to authority. It is how things get better.

What Helps Me Work Well With You

If we work together, you have probably heard me say “fire and forget.” What I mean by that is simple: I do not like drilling into details for the sake of it, but please drill down if you are learning. It helps me when people own the problem space and tell me what we should do. If you need something from me, ask directly. If you need a decision, tell me that you need a decision.

I want to empower you to make the best decisions for you, for me, and for the business. If you bring me every detail verbally, it usually does not help. Write it down if it is complex, but give me the TL;DR. I want the outcome, the risk, and the next step.

I also care a lot about transparency. Tell me what is going on. Do not make me second-guess. If something is drifting, say it early. If you think something is about to go sideways, tell me before it does. Let’s brace for impact together.

And please bring the human context when it matters.If you are late once in a while because you had a rough night, a sick kid, a newborn, or something unexpected, tell me. That is fine. I have been there. I understand. We will work around it. What I do not want is silence, vague signals, or me having to guess what is happening.

What You Can Expect From Me

You can expect clarity. Nudge me when I’m not. 

If something matters, I will say so. If I am unsure, I will say that too. If you are uncertain about priorities, ask and get that clarified for you and me. 

You can expect trust by default.

I do not micromanage. If I start asking more questions than usual, it is almost always because uncertainty has increased, not because trust has decreased. As trust builds through predictability and follow-through, autonomy increases naturally.

You can expect support, not theater.

My role is to unblock, provide context, and help with decisions when needed. I am not interested in performative oversight or status reporting for its own sake. If you are stuck, tell me. If something feels risky, surface it early.

You can expect fairness in reflection.

When we look back at decisions, I try to judge them based on what we knew at the time, not what we know now. If something fails but the reasoning was sound, that is not a problem. 

You can expect honesty.

I will not sugarcoat feedback, and I will not hide bad news. If something is not working, I will say it directly. The intent is always improvement, not blame.

And finally, you can expect consistency.

If I say I will do something, I will follow through. If I change my mind, I will explain why. You should not have to guess where I stand.

That is what I try to offer in return. Hold me to this. If I am not doing it, tell me.

My Failure Modes

This is the part that usually matters most. When things are going well, none of this shows up. When pressure increases, these are the patterns to watch for.

I can go quiet. That usually means I am thinking, overloaded, or trying to make sense of something complex. It does not mean I am disengaged or unhappy. If something matters and you are unsure, follow up. A ping is always better than letting things drift.

I can become very direct when I sense ambiguity. If ownership is unclear, decisions are fuzzy, or we keep looping, I tend to push hard for clarity. That can come across as abrupt. The intent is to reduce confusion, not to shut people down. If ownership is unclear, I will usually assign it explicitly rather than let it float. If you think I assigned the wrong owner, tell me and we will correct it quickly.

I can under-communicate praise. I already mentioned this, but it shows up here too. When things are working, I often let them run. That can feel like silence. If you need explicit feedback or reassurance, tell me. I will adjust. This is an area I’ve been actively addressing. 

I can be impatient with repeated problems that do not change. I am very tolerant of mistakes. I am not tolerant of the same issue coming back without learning or adjustment. We change the system, not blame the person.  If something keeps failing, I expect us to write it down and change the approach. If you notice me escalating, explicitly suggest a pause and reset. I will stop and listen without getting defensive.

If you notice any of these showing up, call them out. Directly. I would rather course-correct early than let small things turn into friction. That awareness goes both ways.

Final Thoughts

I truly believe most friction at work is accidental. It comes from assumptions, not intent. From things left unsaid. From people operating with different expectations and only realizing it when something breaks.

This document is not meant to solve all of that. It is simply an attempt to make a few things explicit so we spend less time guessing and more time actually working. If something here helps, use it. If something does not, say so.

The goal is not agreement. The goal is clearer collaboration. If this document ever becomes a substitute for real feedback, it has failed. One last thing, I’ll keep this updated as I change and hopefully grow.

Last Updated: Jan, 2026. I review this document every 6 months to ensure it still reflects reality.

If you want to try this yourself, the easiest way is to start with a template. Copy it, answer the prompts, and keep only what feels true. The goal is clarity, not completeness.

Operating Manual Template

Here’s my operating manual template to reduce guesswork by making preferences and expectations explicit. You might want to have your own questions and answers but I think this is a good starting point.

How You Make Decisions

  • How do you usually make decisions?
  • What do you need before you can decide?
  • What helps you decide faster?
  • What tends to slow your decisions down?

How You Communicate

  • What communication modes work best for you?
  • What does quick or similar mean to you?
  • What response times do you aim for?
  • How should others signal urgency to you?

Feedback

  • How do you usually give feedback?
  • What makes feedback useful to you?
  • What makes feedback hard to act on?
  • When do you prefer feedback to happen?

What Helps You Work Well With Others

  • What enables you to collaborate well?
  • What commonly causes friction for you?
  • What assumptions do others often get wrong about you?
  • What helps you work well under pressure?

What People Can Expect From You

  • What can people expect from you consistently?
  • How do you support and unblock others?
  • How do you handle mistakes and setbacks?
  • How do you handle disagreement?
  • What should someone do if they feel blocked or unsure?

Your Failure Modes

  • What patterns show up for you under stress?
  • What are your early warning signs?
  • What helps you course-correct early?

Review your doc every 6 months as you should naturally change.